A Reason for Praise

The media is finally condemning domestic abuse.

I've never much been in favor personally of making celebrities out of athletes. It seemed like a risky move to me, just as putting any human being on a pedestal for worship and intense adoration is likely to be. But if our culture did not make celebrities out of athletes, it is very possible that our same culture would not be seeing the progress it is finally seeing now. People are beginning to pay attention to the horror and prevalence of domestic violence. Finally.

The attention and outcry are getting louder. People are realizing that just as those Boston citizens could say, "I had no idea he could do something like plant a bomb at a marathon. He seemed like such a normal guy," or those Cleveland citizens could say, "But I lived next to those guys for ten years; I ate barbeque in their backyard. I had no idea they had kidnapped women in the bedroom upstairs," or those Oklahoma City residents could say, "But Tim seemed like an average guy to me," they too can say, "I had no idea that normal looking family man was a brute and a beast and a sociopath with the wife who stuck by him for so long."

Domestic violence is a type of terrorism. It depends on the same things to flourish: secrecy, privacy, outward appearances, threats, intimidation, the element of surprise.

And God hates it. Women are just as much a part of his "treasured possession" as believing men. He uses women as the very symbol of his own Bride, the church, whom he himself died for. He loves women fiercely and jealously and he will not remain patiently silent and merciful forever toward the men who harm his daughter, or the men in authority who will not come to their aid. It is these men in authority to whom Jesus was speaking when he told them that God did indeed allow for divorce, but why? Because their hearts were hard--the leaders', the men's hearts were hard. God allows for divorce in order to protect his daughters because men will not repent, have empathy, use their power for the good of the women they are to cherish and care for as their own bodies and as Christ loved the church.

It is to these abusive men, who have forgotten the bride of their youth, to whom God says he hates--the men who did not love their wives but instead created an unthinkable rift with them, these men who clothe themselves with violence (Malachi 2:16). Yes, God hates the rift in relationship that is divorce, but he gives permission for legalizing that divorce in order to protect the woman who is being destroyed by her faithless husband.

Your maker is your husband! And he will not forsake you. He is coming. He is coming back. And he is not coming as a lamb this time. He is coming as a GROOM and as a WARRIOR.

The trumpets are being sounded. Men of the church, are you listening? John Piper, are YOU listening? Will you use your power, your authority, your influence to defend the widows, where God's heart is, or to keep them in oppression, fear, and turmoil forever?

The evidence is clear. Abuse is wrong. The dividing lines are being drawn. The martyrs crying out, "How long?" are heard, and God is moving in his church. His justice is sure. We who have cried out and had our cries fall on deaf ears are heard. That's reason for praise!

Introduction to This Blog

If somehow you've found this blog site, let us welcome you. Welcome, and come, be safe here.

We are broken people. We admit that we are not sinless. And yet, we are people who have been broken even further by the sins of others, in particular, individuals or groups of individuals whom we loved and trusted.

We are the abused and molested children. We are the wives of destructive marriages. We are the devoted and used up friends of narcissists. We are the overpowered in the legalistic and patriarchal church movement--those who desperately needed grace but got further victimization, strong-arming, and law instead of mercy. We are orphans and widows by circumstance.

And we are seeking healing and wholeness and love in an all-too-often loveless world.

If you have a story to tell, you may send it to shadowingabigail@gmail.com. All submissions will be read. If your story seems to be one that others may benefit from, we may choose to publish it here.

Guidelines for submission:

1) Above all else, we are committed to truth telling. The truth will set us free.
The truth is not always beautiful in and of itself, but it is the path to freedom. Not all stories are lovely and emotionally positive. Not all stories have yet reached a conclusion. We believe that God is at work in all things, and that he does indeed work even our worst nightmares for good in the end. But at present, we may not be at all aware of how our story will end. We are in the dark, but we are still committed to telling the truth in the darkness. All submissions to this blog should be earnestly considered in every detail: Is it the truth? If there is any doubt, please do not submit your story for consideration.

2) The purpose of this blog is healing, not damaging others.
Though we have been wounded by others, it is not our intention to seek revenge or to inflict return harm on those who have harmed us. Therefore, even as we tell our stories, it is important that we must be careful to never slander or expose another person's wrongdoing specifically so as to harm that other person. Yes, if that person was in sin, he or she should be confronted and held accountable for it, but this is not the place to do that. That should be done in private, possibly face to face if it is safe to do so, and with the support of other appropriate members of your community, not excluding law enforcement if necessary. Therefore, those submitting stories may wish to use only their first names, nicknames, or Internet user id names. No full names will be published with submissions. Additionally, full names of individuals in story submissions will not be published. Use careful discretion please, and remember to do to others as you would have them to do to you, and to love your enemies as you love yourselves.

3) Write with respect and dignity.
Language matters. Many of us have been hurt by words. Please be careful to use only respectful and dignified word choices in your writing. Language that profanes the Deity will not be printed or allowed in the comments. Other language that can be considered obscene or derogatory may be censored for the sake of limiting its trigger effect on others.

4) Remember grace.
The God of grace did not turn his back on his rebellious creation. Instead, he humbled himself, set aside his own glory by choice, and entered in to suffer alongside his beloved people. By living a perfect life and giving that life freely at the hands of sinners he came to buy back from their own self-destruction, he gave perfect evidence of his choice to love eternally all who call on his name to be saved. He now looks upon his people with complete favor, and nothing can separate his beloved from him, now or ever. It is in the context of the knowledge of that saving, unmerited grace, that we offer up our wounds for healing, and that we offer our stories to one another. Therefore, we commit here on this site to offer gentleness, optimism, kindness, respect, and dignity to one another, even at times when we find ourselves in disagreement. Though we encourage discussion, we are not here to chastise one another, to offer easy platitudes, to downplay one another's pain or try to fix or dismiss it, and most certainly not to judge or place blame on the victims, regardless of the life choices that may have contributed (or may not have contributed) to the injury experienced. We are here to build up, to strengthen one another, and to encourage toward an eternal healing in keeping with the grace bestowed on the world by God through Jesus Christ. 

5) Guidelines for participating in this blog may change over time. Recurring issues will inevitably have to be addressed, and we will do so as needed.