A woman I know was excommunicated from her church this week.
Why? Had she committed adultery and refused to repent? No.
Had she abandoned her maternal responsibilities to pursue some fantasy of mid-life? No.
Had she recanted on her faith in Christ alone for her salvation? Definitely not.
No, but she did what she felt was following God's call in her life and separated from her emotionally abusive, intimidating, manipulative husband. After more than two decades of holding on and enduring, hoping, praying, and even seeking the church's help for change.
She is now being treated as if she were an unbeliever, when her faith is more tested and possibly more strong than that of those who sat in judgment over her.
We call this blog "Shadowing Abigail" because Abigail was a woman in the Old Testament who knew what it was to be married to an abuser. And yet, Abigail somehow did not lose herself. God was with her and he led her to step out of what is commonly considered submission to act contrary to her abusive husband's desires.
Is she called "contentious"? No. Not at all. She is called "my Father's joy."
God saw his daughter Abigail. He knew her suffering. He knew the harm that man Nabal (which means "fool") had done and would continue to do to God's daughter Abigail, his joy. And God did not endure it patiently forever. When the time was right, God said, "No more," and he killed Nabal.
God did not look on Abigail with judgment and contempt and punish her for the "sin" of not obeying her abusive husband. He did not cast her out when she took action outside of her husband's foolish, harmful, and intimidating plans. She did what she needed to do in order to protect herself and others under the care of her household.
But God did not only free Abigail from her abuser. Freedom is a wonderful thing for those of us who have lived long years in oppression. God did one more for Abigail. He made her the wife, not just of another man, but of the very man whom God had called "a man after God's own heart." David. King David would become the husband of Abigail.
David was far from being a perfect man or a good husband. We can read of his failures. But we do know that David loved God and had an understanding of the heart of God. With the power of a king, David could have refused Abigail. He could have seen her as rebellious and cast her out, like our rulers in churches too often do to the damaged and desperate daughters whom God has chosen to liberate from their bondage. But those rulers are showing that, at least in that instance, they are not men "after God's own heart."
A man after God's own heart understands that it was never God's intention for women to be trodden upon by the men who are supposed to love them, cherish them as their own bodies, and image God to them with sacrificial, servant hearts.
A church ruler who does not nurture and envelop a hurting, abused woman when she comes to him for help must realize that he is imaging the fool and the enemy and not the God of love and compassion who delivers his church, his people, his daughters too, and gives them himself.
Why? Had she committed adultery and refused to repent? No.
Had she abandoned her maternal responsibilities to pursue some fantasy of mid-life? No.
Had she recanted on her faith in Christ alone for her salvation? Definitely not.
No, but she did what she felt was following God's call in her life and separated from her emotionally abusive, intimidating, manipulative husband. After more than two decades of holding on and enduring, hoping, praying, and even seeking the church's help for change.
She is now being treated as if she were an unbeliever, when her faith is more tested and possibly more strong than that of those who sat in judgment over her.
We call this blog "Shadowing Abigail" because Abigail was a woman in the Old Testament who knew what it was to be married to an abuser. And yet, Abigail somehow did not lose herself. God was with her and he led her to step out of what is commonly considered submission to act contrary to her abusive husband's desires.
Is she called "contentious"? No. Not at all. She is called "my Father's joy."
God saw his daughter Abigail. He knew her suffering. He knew the harm that man Nabal (which means "fool") had done and would continue to do to God's daughter Abigail, his joy. And God did not endure it patiently forever. When the time was right, God said, "No more," and he killed Nabal.
God did not look on Abigail with judgment and contempt and punish her for the "sin" of not obeying her abusive husband. He did not cast her out when she took action outside of her husband's foolish, harmful, and intimidating plans. She did what she needed to do in order to protect herself and others under the care of her household.
But God did not only free Abigail from her abuser. Freedom is a wonderful thing for those of us who have lived long years in oppression. God did one more for Abigail. He made her the wife, not just of another man, but of the very man whom God had called "a man after God's own heart." David. King David would become the husband of Abigail.
David was far from being a perfect man or a good husband. We can read of his failures. But we do know that David loved God and had an understanding of the heart of God. With the power of a king, David could have refused Abigail. He could have seen her as rebellious and cast her out, like our rulers in churches too often do to the damaged and desperate daughters whom God has chosen to liberate from their bondage. But those rulers are showing that, at least in that instance, they are not men "after God's own heart."
A man after God's own heart understands that it was never God's intention for women to be trodden upon by the men who are supposed to love them, cherish them as their own bodies, and image God to them with sacrificial, servant hearts.
A church ruler who does not nurture and envelop a hurting, abused woman when she comes to him for help must realize that he is imaging the fool and the enemy and not the God of love and compassion who delivers his church, his people, his daughters too, and gives them himself.
