Marriages with domestic abuse rarely last until natural death parts the partners. Those that do make it to that point usually sacrifice the personality, spirit, and mental health of the abused. That's hardly a marriage to hold up to the light as an example of "making it," and rightly so. Such is not what marriage is supposed to be, not even in a world tainted in every corner by sin.
So what does it take for a relationship to work, if persevering through abuse isn't ever going to come to the fruition of a stable, loving, mutual partnership?
This article compiles the results of relational research that reveals it is possible to have a good relationship, and it doesn't come from being a better housekeeper, or giving up your career to make your spouse feel like he's more successful than you by worldly standards, or having sex on demand every time, all the time. It doesn't come from being supernaturally, spiritually strong enough to take every slap, curse, lie, manipulation, oppression in silence and submission.
Many of us who have managed to break free of abuse, when asked, will say that the single most important trait a person we would be attracted to again would have is kindness. Over and over again, kindness comes up as the essential characteristic.
The science supports that. Kindness is key.
Two Traits for a Lasting Relationship
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, KINDNESS, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness. and self-control." -- Galatians 5:22, ESV
SHADOWING ABIGAIL: A blog community for the open expression and healing of those who have experienced abuse at the hands of loved ones or trusted authorities.
You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging journey.
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